Grounded

This month, Barbara reflects on what grounds her. Tony has just completed his poem project 2022-2025 - read them here.

Barbara Holden ‘grounded.’

For me the phrase ‘being grounded’ emphasises personal responsibility. So, what grounds me? I ask this at a time when ill-health often makes me ‘unsteady’ and even a stick doesn’t always do it!

 [1] Family

We all have particular family upbringings. Being Welsh and being brought up in a situation where being bilingual was the norm for the older generation had a significant and continuing impact on my life. I wish in those days I’d had the opportunity to learn Welsh at school.

[2] Learning to care for people

My upbringing meant that I got into looking out for and after other people from a very early age. This was especially in my family. Later at school I found myself being encouraged to take that role. By the time I got into second-chance education I was well on track not only for teaching and community work but also for doing counselling.

[3] Leaning ‘care of the self’

This is one I find difficult. Jesus’ words “love your neighbour as yourself” emphasise that in order to care for others we have to be robust and persistent in learning ‘care of the self.’ Both of us value the following words and its striking image –

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you (Thich Nhat Hahn 1926-2022 engaged Buddhism).”

[4] My Christian faith 

My faith began with my family and our Methodist chapel. Being married to a Methodist minister led to moves of house and work and also to a wide range of congregations and experiences. Nowadays I try to use my prayers and actions to influence and witness so our communities are more healthy and less troubled and violent.

[5] Being committed to influences

A major part of my life has been about young people. Another interfaith dialogue. Another the women’s movement in its many phases and forms. Each of them, especially when understood as part of a personal vocation, has grounded me. They have changed with the years, but they are roots.

[6] Welcoming diversity

From college and my first teacher appointment through to the thirty years in the London Borough of Newham diversity has been a key experience. How to help people live with difference, make friends outside their own circle, be welcoming to strangers, to me that is crucial for my own identity and for community well-being.