Tony and Barbara Holden ‘Completing’

Occasionally when Tony is drawing or Barbara colouring, we joke: “be careful you don’t spoil it, because you can’t decide when to stop!” Not an original thought but a reminder that, in art as in retirement and life, how we complete things can be tricky.

Recently Tony has been proofreading his poems ready for a few printed (not published) copies - {834 poems written between the age of 20 and 85}! As expected, he was gratified to read them in book-form rather than on screen. One thing he felt (unsurprisingly) was that reading them raised many questions about ‘completing.’

Now with the difficulties of ageing and ill-health we are both acutely aware of what we can no longer do. We both miss trips, visits, people, places. For Tony not being able to stand or walk poses more difficulties than simply using the wheelchair. For Barbara the serious memory loss changes both the past and often present options.

And throughout all this we talk about completing the vocations, commitments, tasks, and hopes we have shared. “The challenge is doing what you say you are going to do and being accountable [Barbara adds].” In the present (with the help of carers, family and friends) we attempt to engage with our ever-changing world. Think of - governments, climate change, persistent economic injustices and poverty, violence and hatred and racism, and the unknown impact of AI. There are also wonderful achievements, inventions, new prospects, beyond our dreams.

How do we in our situation take part – how are we completing our lives? Part of a Buddhist answer is: “stop, let go, drop it.” Part of the Jesus of the Gospels’ answer is: “love your enemies.” Part of our answer is: in writing these blogs together and hoping you can use them.